What sort of sick person is writing the script for my life?

Director:OK OK everybody! stop chattering at once, stop-chattering-at-once-now-we-gotta-get-goin. who's got an idea?

Bert: Ok so Paige and Peter are sitting in the car right? so they...

Director: i-love-it-i-love-it. OK where-can-we-go-with-it?anybody-got-any-ideas-c'mon-any-ideas?

Bert:Well like i was saying Paige and Peter are finally discussing the bitter endings of their new relationship, which is just the sort of thing Paige has been wanting to do, when....

Director: nice direction bert, nice,i like the whole car thing but whose got something new? something fresh? something-piping-hot-right-out-o'-the-ol'-oven-who-feels-me-who-feels-me-Leonard-whaddaya-got-for-me?

Leonard: sitting in the car when.....he suddenly has to go home.....

Director:has to go home urgent-urgent yeah i like it. conflict-in-the-story-yeah-i-like-it-but-where-does-it-lead?what's-this-whole-shaboodle-all-about? talktome talktome Jim!

Jim: Uh.....so.....the audience is wondering if they're going to see eachother the next day, before she leaves on a three and a half week trip........you can interrupt, that's all i got.

Director: nicenice, wonder. intrigue. is-he-gonna stay?is-he-gonna go? true?false?bond?free?male?female? i see where you're goin with this but what's the twist? what's the fresh-outta-daisy-scheme here? c'mon-c'monpeople let's-get-to-it, Lenord back to you, let's go!

Lenord: so he says "we can talk tomorrow, but i've told like seven people that so i might not remember" then he smiles

Director. Smile! Smile! the ladies love the smile, i just think-we-gotta-....

Bert: and then he asks her a question totally non-re.....

Director: Hey!hey! i'm the only one who inturrupts around here!.......................carry on.

Bert: asks a totally non related question like say, i dunno... what did you get on the ACT, and she won't tell him and he's frustrated cause he doesn't get his answers and she doesn't get hers, so they uh...decide to swap answers the next day! but he has a tendency to forget...

Director: the big question! is she important enough? will he remember? will he have the guts to bring it up? will they even talk? what questions will she ask? good work fellas good-work-my-boys. that's enough for one day, we'll just present the conflict and cut to commercial break.